about me · Uncategorized

What Being a Mother Means to Me

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Hello everyone! To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day!!!!

Today is such a special day to take a time out and really thank and cherish mothers around the world for all they have done!

I look back on my own childhood and relationship with my mother. I came from a very dysfunctional childhood, growing up in poverty, and drug and alcohol addictions in my family. I believe my parents did the best that they could, but unfortunately, most of the time they were too busy caught up in their own stuff to be the best parents around. All in all, I know they loved us. 

My mother and I don’t have the greatest relationship, because of what was previously mentioned. It was hard because I had heard of that “mothers love” , the love where NOTHING is more important than your children. Unfortunately, in my eyes, her addictions were more important. But, even through it all, I have and will always love my mother. She is the only one I will ever have. And I know she tried her best given the life she grew up in (she dropped out of school at a young age, had me very young, ect). I will always respect my mother the way a mother should be respected, and I will always love her. She always lets me know how proud of me she is, and I think she is glad, just as I am, that through it all, I was able to still succeed.

IMG_0388 IMG_0458 2833931_0134 2833931_0516 2833931_0623So as you can imagine, when I found out I was pregnant with my first-born, I was terrified! How would I be able to be a good mother, the mother I always wanted, when I didn’t have any guidance on HOW to be a mother? I mean, I knew what I wanted, but just didn’t know if I was capable of doing it….maybe it just wasnt in my DNA…normalcy, family, ect. All I had ever known was dysfunction, hurt, and being let down.

Then Jasmine was born.

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And it hit me….that “mothers love“. That, I would do everything in my power to make you happy, nothing and no one could ever be more important than you, I would die for you, type of love happened. Part of me resented my mother for a while after this, because I didn’t know how she didn’t feel this, but again, I knew she tried.

Then Tatyana came…

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And after all the love I had for Jasmine, I just didnt know if my heart to grow anymore. Could I love this new child the same way I loved Jasmine?

Absolutely!

Now, I’m even lucky to have a beautiful step-daughter, Cheyenne, and yes, my heart had just enough room for her too!

Cheyenne and I's first picture 2 years ago!!
Cheyenne and I’s first picture 2 years ago!!

My children are by far the best things I have or will ever do in this or any lifetime. They are my everything! And at the end of the day, they saved me! They made me a mother, they gave me a family, a unit I never had. Today, this Mother’s Day, I have NEVER felt more complete in my life than I do right now. 

All I can hope is, that all my girls, will know, just how much I love them, today, tomorrow, and always!

Happy Mothers Day!

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6 thoughts on “What Being a Mother Means to Me

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